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Stave Yourself Girl
You look better hungry anyways
They'll be shocked with the turn of events
You'll Collapse on that dance floor
Beneath All Those lights
Perfect Photo-op wouldn't you say?
You like the attention don't you?
Isn't it what you've always wanted?
What You've Always Craved?
Your addiction just so happened to be your downfall
How ironic now.
Best watch your back darling,
They'll bite into your neck
And take everything you've ever had,
Which was everthing you hated
Hey Graceful, Regain Your Poise,
As The Stars Melt away before your eyes
Welcome to the final show
Welcome to your demise
Many changes can be made to this.
Many things can be added, but I really needed to submit something into this category. Don't ask why, because I really dont know, its just something that had to be done.

enjoy

critiques are welcome.
Add a Comment:
 
:icondevilx23:
devilx23 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
prof: a wonderful yet disturbing little peice of literature. wonderful job
Reply
:iconpurebeauty108:
purebeauty108 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2007
I really like your poem,but the whole "biting into the neck thing' i didnt understand,up until that part i totaly knew wat u were saying and i loved it :)
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2007  Student Photographer
to be honest....i have no idea what i'm doing when i write anything of mine.
it just sorta comes out. I have no control over what it says.
It's sort of like a monologue in my head.
Reply
:iconmewreille:
Mewreille Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2007
I really like this. (=

You did a nice job, on the imagery especially. < 3 Keep up the good work!
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2007  Student Photographer
Thank you very much!
<33:glomp:
Reply
:iconhislilkid:
Hislilkid Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2007
wow thats really sad.but it makes scence ya know? good work
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2007  Student Photographer
Yeah, it was inspired by an old friend


thank you.
Reply
:iconhislilkid:
Hislilkid Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2007
wow yea i deal with that kind of ED and its like... the song hits home, Now i havnt passed out yet or anything but... i get the song :]
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2007  Student Photographer
Yeah, you & i both.
Reply
:iconhislilkid:
Hislilkid Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2007
i like the first line in your little tag thing
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2007  Student Photographer
Murder Son, She's Painful??
Reply
:iconhislilkid:
Hislilkid Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2007
yea THAT one!! :]
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2007  Student Photographer
haha its from a Shiny Toy Guns song
[link]
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconshad0wmistress:
Shad0wMistress Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2006
wow mary this is great did you create this bit yourself? its lovely
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2006  Student Photographer
haha yes i did =D
Reply
:iconfallingbelow:
fallingbelow Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2006
Mind if I write something using the theme of this?

I like this a lot.
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2006  Student Photographer
Not at all!
I'd be honored =D
Reply
:iconfallingbelow:
fallingbelow Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2006
I'll give the though your credit, thanks.
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2006  Student Photographer
Mkay
& you're Welcome
Reply
:iconthe-pumpkin-king19:
The-Pumpkin-King19 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2006
it's good....the whole photo-op part reminded me of Panic! at the Disco.

the flow of it is kind of iffy at the beginning but it works out in the end.
overall good job! and keep it up! but try and work on your flow a little bit....and if you don't get me (i'm bad at explaining things sometimes) just ask lol

keep it up!
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2006  Student Photographer
lol good point with the P!ATD Thing...i didnt realize it until just now.

& yea i totally understand. I was rushing to finish this because it was 3 weeks in the making with only the last 2 lines done.
i'll probably go back & fix it.
but thanks for the comment =)
much appreciated
Reply
:iconthe-pumpkin-king19:
The-Pumpkin-King19 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2006
no problem! i'm glad to help! especially since you said critique was welcome so i took it upon myself to critique it lol
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2006  Student Photographer
haha much appreciated!
same applies to all my other stuff.
you wanna critique it. you go ahead.
Reply
:iconthe-pumpkin-king19:
The-Pumpkin-King19 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2006
sweet! infinite power to critique your work!!!! wooo! lol
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2006  Student Photographer
=D
Reply
:iconfiendishthals:
FiendishThals Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2006
hey i like it. specially the perfect photo op bit
Reply
:iconkissxclickbang:
Kissxclickbang Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2006  Student Photographer
oh thank you =D
Reply
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